In remembrance of Susan Bernstein

Howard Ain and Susan Bernstein

Rabbi Donald Splansky ended his eulogy for Susan Bernstein with these words from John Greenleaf Whittier:

“Alas for him who never sees the stars shine through his cypress trees.

Who, hopeless, lays his dead away nor looks to see the break of day

Across the mournful marble play, who hath not learned in hours of faith

The truth to flesh and sense unknown, that life is ever lord of death,

And love can never lose its own.”

Those words aptly describe Susan Bernstein’s love for her family, devotion to her community, passion for her beliefs, and dedication to her profession.

Dr. Susan Deborah Bernstein was born on June 11, 1953 in Alpena, Michigan. The family later returned to Cincinnati, where Susan and her three siblings were raised. A graduate of Yavneh Day School and Walnut Hills High School, Susan also spent a year during high school living in Israel where she lived on a kibbutz and studied at the Leo Beck High School in Haifa.

After receiving her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Cincinnati, she graduated from The Ohio State University School of Dentistry in 1979. She returned to Cincinnati to establish her dental practice. Susan was dedicated to continuing education and graduated from the L.D. Pankey Institute for Post-Doctoral Dental Education and the University of Minnesota’s Esthetic Dentistry program. She was a principle investigator for the PEARL Research Network and was proud of her published work. A talented, caring dentist and an eager, inquisitive student, Dr. Bernstein’s motto was “gentle dentistry in a caring environment.” This was a reflection of her artistic talents and her commitment to patient advocacy. She frequently provided dental care for patients that could not afford her services.

Susan’s life was far more than her profession. Susan married Richard Ellison in 1974, with whom she had four children, Aaron, Joel, Rachel and Marissa. She later married Howard Ain, and became a mother to his two children, Jason and Andrew. Susan was the driving force behind blending the two families.

Rabbi Splansky said in his eulogy, “We saw how overjoyed she was to find love again, with Howard Ain, and how devoted she was to him and to help in the raising of his two sons, Andrew and Jason. She was dedicated to her children, Aaron, Joel, Rachel, and Marissa, and was always there for them. I never knew a mother who was more “on the go” every day and able to juggle innumerable responsibilities and errands.” Her son Aaron commented “My mother saved my life more times than I can count. She allowed me to pursue my passions and creativity with unwavering support. She held our family together in difficult times and blended our family into the close, loving unit we are today. She is my hero!”

Susan was deeply committed to her entire family and was an excellent role model. She taught her children the importance of family and working hard. Her daughter Rachel offered, “My mom was always willing to take the next step. She taught me to never leave a job half way done and to never second-guess my ability to succeed in my goals. She taught me to be the optimist that I am; she showed me how to be a strong woman.”

Susan lived “Shalom Bayit”. She constantly provided her children with insightful advice and support. Her daughter Marissa adds “My Mom always told me she was my biggest fan. She gave me great personal advice and has instilled a strong sense of Judaism in me. She made me the woman I am today and the woman I will become.” Susan believed that the family not only provided companionship and love, but also taught values while fostering a sense of identity that defines us as human beings and Jews.

Susan’s life culminated in her becoming a grandmother to Layla (Joel and Alyce Ellison) and Teddy (Andrew and Emily Ain). Being a grandmother was a great joy of her life. She spent every possible moment with her grandchildren, loving and doting on them.

Susan was also an extremely talented artist with dexterous hands. As a teenager she was a focused art student. She was accomplished in macramé, pottery, knitting and mosaic. She was an especially prolific knitter, making sweaters, scarves and blankets for her family and friends.

Susan was adventurous. She loved to travel with her husband, Howard, family and friends. Her favorite destination was Israel, which she was fortunate to visit many times throughout her life. Each time she visited a country, she made it a priority to seek out the Jewish community, visit the local synagogue and support the local Jewish economy.

Susan had a strong commitment to Jewish life. Susan was a gracious and welcoming hostess to guests in her home. She regularly made Shabbat and holiday celebrations for her family and friends. In her youth, she attended Hebrew School through her senior year of high school.  She also attended Jewish overnight camps and went on summer trips to Israel.   Drawing upon her personal experiences, she sent all four of her children to Yavneh Day School, to Goldman Union Camp Institute (GUCI), and to summer programs in Israel.

Carrying on her parents’ legacy, Susan was proud to spearhead a recent Rockwern (Yavneh Day School) event that ultimately raised significant funds for the school’s endowment.  Dr. David Finell, head of school at Rockwern Academy said “When we say that a person lives on through their deeds and through the lives they have touched Susan (and the whole Bernstein family, really), embodies this truth. She is part and parcel of our school and always will be.”

Susan was active in many other Jewish organizations that raised tzedakah for the community.  She was an avid supporter of the Breast Cancer Bricks Along the Journey project, founded by her late sister Ellen B. Ganson.  Susan and her mother Miriam were instrumental in the creation of  Women for Positive Change. She generously supported Camp Kesem, a non-profit camp geared to children who have or have had a parent with cancer.  She was an active member of Northern Hills Synagogue (B’nai Avraham).

Dr. Susan Deborah Bernstein, age 61, passed away November 18, 2014 surrounded by her family and loved ones. Loving daughter of Miriam G. Bernstein & the late Dr. I. Leonard Bernstein, beloved wife of Howard Ain, devoted mother of Aaron, Joel (Alyce), Rachel & Marissa Ellison & stepmother of Jason & Andrew (Emily) Ain, dear sister of Dr. David (Cheryl) Bernstein, Dr. Jonathan (Lisa) Bernstein & the late Ellen (Michael) Ganson, loving grandmother of Layla Ellison & Theodore Ain, loving aunt, cousin & friend. In lieu of flowers memorial contributions to The Jewish Federation of Cincinnati, c/o The Howard Ain & Susan D. Bernstein Philanthropic Fund, 8499 Ridge Road., Cincinnati, OH 45236 would be appreciated.